Pass the story

ORIGINAL:

Hi my name is adina and I am a girl that live in the woods with my village family and my friends. We are a poor family mainly everbody in this village poor no had any food only dirty walter and rice that could on last 5 weeks a mounth their were babys still coming and they were the most hugry ones in that village. They had milk to drink cause they had grass for the 10 cows that they had but they still needed more then that. But the only got to eat a little bit of food what was pretty sad.One they I said “THIS IS ENUFF!,I AM GONNA GO MAKE A SPEAR AND HUNT FOR MY FAMILY!”He made a spear out of stone and wood then he went hunting.When he came back he chaught 15 rabbits, 5 fish.He gave it to his family he said to the whole vilage you should go hunt to but they did not. “ OK u YOUNG LITTLE PEOPLE IM TRYING TO HElP YOU nOW LISTEN TO ME Go HUNTING NOW!! NEVER SAID THE PEOPLE HURRY UP OR IM GOING TO HUNT ON MY OWN AND EAT ALL THE FOOD FOR MYSELF “NOPE NEVER NO SAiD THE PEOPLE” OK THEN I HAVE ENUFF WITH U SELFISH PEOPLE IM GOING :O I FOUND MEAT AND FISH LETS GO BACK. Hello guys said Adina, Hello said the people I have enuff with u Im gonna go cook my meat and my fish :O IM DONE IM JUST GONNA EAT NOW. :O can I have some said the People. Can I have some please can I have some please can I have some PLEASE NOPE NOT GIVING U ANY FOR BEING NAUGHTY TO ME AND BEING SELFISH.
Adina had an idea. If only, she could figure out a way to make all the villages want to hunt. That way no one will be selfish, and everyone will find food.
What if she made it a competition!
“Everyone, come in, come in”
The people came to see what was going on. They all ooohed, and aaaahed over what Adina was holding. She had a great trophy in her arms.
“This is a great prize, for a great person” She said. “Who ever is worthy of this trophy shall earn honour for their family”
“I am worthy” Yelled a strong looking man from the back. “What do I have to do?”
“Rubbish, I AM WORTHY” Yelled another man with a big beard
“Hah! Neither of you stupid men could win that, it needs a ladies touch” Laughed a women with long hair.
“Only, a great hunter can be worthy of this trophy” Explained Adina “Tonight, we will have the great weekly hunt. The person who catches the most food, will earn the trophy for their family.”
So from then on, each week they had the Great Weekly Hunt. Each week one of the villages was named the champion for that week.
The village never went hungy again.

                                                                                                                                                                   

NEW VERSION:

Hi my name is Adina and I am a girl that live in the woods with my village family and my friends. We are a poor family mainly everybody in this village poor no had any food only dirty water and rice that could on last 5 weeks a month their were baby's still coming and they were the most hungry ones in that village. They had milk to drink cause they had grass for the 10 cows that they had but they still needed more then that. But the only got to eat a little bit of food what was pretty sad.One they I said “THIS IS ENUFF!,I AM GONNA GO MAKE A SPEAR AND HUNT FOR MY FAMILY!”He made a spear out of stone and wood then he went hunting.When he came back he caught 15 rabbits, 5 fish.He gave it to his family he said to the whole village you should go hunt to but they did not. “ OK u YOUNG LITTLE PEOPLE I'M TRYING TO HElP YOU NOW LISTEN TO ME Go HUNTING NOW!! NEVER SAID THE PEOPLE HURRY UP OR I'M GOING TO HUNT ON MY OWN AND EAT ALL THE FOOD FOR MYSELF “NOPE NEVER NO SAID THE PEOPLE” OK THEN I HAVE ENUFF WITH U SELFISH PEOPLE I'M GOING :O I FOUND MEAT AND FISH LETS GO BACK. Hello guys said Adina, Hello said the people I have enuff with u I'm gonna go cook my meat and my fish :O I'M DONE I'M JUST GONNA EAT NOW. :O can I have some said the People. Can I have some please can I have some please can I have some PLEASE NOPE NOT GIVING U ANY FOR BEING NAUGHTY TO ME AND BEING SELFISH.
Adina had an idea. If only, she could figure out a way to make all the villages want to hunt. That way no one will be selfish, and everyone will find food.
What if she made it a competition!
“Everyone, come in, come in”
The people came to see what was going on. They all oohed, and aaaahed over what Adina was holding. She had a great trophy in her arms.
“This is a great prize, for a great person” She said. “Who ever is worthy of this trophy shall earn honor for their family”
“I am worthy” Yelled a strong looking man from the back. “What do I have to do?”
“Rubbish, I AM WORTHY” Yelled another man with a big beard
“Hah! Neither of you stupid men could win that, it needs a ladies touch” Laughed a women with long hair.
“Only, a great hunter can be worthy of this trophy” Explained Adina “Tonight, we will have the great weekly hunt. The person who catches the most food, will earn the trophy for their family.”
So from then on, each week they had the Great Weekly Hunt. Each week one of the villages was named the champion for that week.
The village never went hungry again.